Ale Stars warm to winter brews

I guess more people read this thing than I thought. Last month I spoke of the dip in numbers at Ale Stars at The Local Taphouse compared to the previous session. By way of comparison I said it was like the difference between a cousin’s wedding and a quiet family dinner. Well, this month the WHOLE FAMILY showed up. And everyone brought a friend along!

Not that I meant for that to sound like my blog was taking credit for bumping the numbers up! (Please imagine winking cheeky smile emoticon here)

The night was chilly and the company warm as a record number of Ale Stars showed up to sample some winter warming kind of beers. Shandy again led us through the background to the styles we tried, all the while maintaining his chipper demeanour despite the amped-up noise level that is a natural consequence of fifty plus bods all tasting and talking about beer. As well, anyone who can chat casually about craft beer while slipping terms like ‘estery enzymatic compounds’, ‘Yorkshire Square fermentation’ and ‘accidental phenolyisis’ into the conversation without getting ‘belled’ is to be congratulated. Unable to find another chance to use the descriptor ‘Calvados-y’, Shandy?

Holgate Nut Brown Ale, Lobethal Oatmeal Stout, Meantime Winter Cheer and Young’s Christmas Pudding Ale each had their fans among the Ale Stars but the Holgate seemed to get the nod as the overall favourite – accidentally good or not. Interestingly, the Young’s divided opinion more than most Ale Stars beers have and, in fact, was markedly different to the taste delivered to my very own palate at The Courthouse Restaurant Beer Dinner just the Friday before. It is not often that you hear beer descriptions like dried fruit, toffee, Bounty Bars, Malibu and Sunscreen, caramel, coconut, coffee and butterscotch popcorn (nice one Simon!) about a single beer.

As I was driving, I had to keep sensible about SUBS and ‘afters’ and this proved to be more difficult than planned. You see, Ale Stars has become as much about beer as it has about meeting up with mates and chatting. This is hard because, (A) With fifty there and most of them ‘mates’, I didn’t get time to catch up with everyone*, (B) Those I did catch up with I felt rushed, (C) You like to meet the new faces as well – especially when the host AND the owner keep referring to you during the night as either an expert or a smartarse - and (D) Catching up requires a certain level of ‘beer-in-handedness’ to be considered truly social - difficult with the prospect of a 35 minute drive home at the end of it all. Fortunately, Dr Lager was willing to assist me by staying back and downing enough ‘afters’ for both of us, giving me time to return to normal safe levels.

The trivia quiz was, again, a cracker – if by cracker I mean designed to make everybody laugh and cheer if the team I’m on doesn’t win (even if, right, it’s only by, like, ONE POINT, and like, you know, I swapped teams and tried to hide down the back right, and got over-ruled on a couple by the majority vote, right and ...) what’s important is just that everyone has fun and we all learn something about beer. and as if handicapping me isn’t enough, now they MAKE ME HOST THE NEXT ALE STARS so that I definitely can’t win the trivia if I’m reading out the questions! But seriously, good luck, Shandy and Tracey on the impending stork delivery. We will miss you next month. Despite what I’ve been telling anyone who’ll listen.

Must go, need to finish the printing of the Prof. Pilsner for Ale Star Czar how-to-vote cards.

Cheers,
Prof. Pilsner


*A special mention and thank you to Reeksy and Ella for their support of Ale Stars, for their friendship over the past year and for their contributions which have made our team ALMOST unbeatable EVERY month in the trivia quiz. They are both off on a cross country adventure to see the vast Australian interior and some dodgy bits up the top of the map as well. Good luck and keep in touch. Apologies to those I didn’t get a chance to chat with on Tuesday, especially Anton and Justin-Paul, Steve and Mark, Briony, the other half of Kelv’s Crew – I didn’t mean to brush you! Promise I’ll share a beer or two next month.

Winter Warmers to greet Ale Stars

Tomorrow night will be cold. Cold and windy. Cold and windy and maybe even wet. Best you stay indoors so that you don’t wake up as a pig. Swine flu and all.

Or, even better, get some medical attention immediately. Dr Lager and Prof. Pilsner recommend you get yourselves out to The Local Taphouse in St Kilda for Ale Stars number 11. 11?? It seems like only last month we were celebrating our first ten!

And celebration is a nice theme for the beers as well. (Not to mention a deliciously clever segue!) With the cooler weather comes the opportunity to sip some of those big, bold, rich and heart-warming types that just clog up the system and make you look a proper tool if you drink them during the height of an Australian summer.

Young’s Christmas Pudding Ale, Lobethal Chocolate Oatmeal Stout, Holgate Nut Brown Ale and Meantime Winter Cheer. Is this a beer event or a Festival of Dessert and Breakfast!?!

These and many other questions – Shandy’s trivia questions not included – will be answered Tuesday night around 7. See you there early for SUBS.*

Cheers
Prof. Pilsner

*Sneaky Upstairs Beers. Don’t go too hard, too early, though.

Courthouse judges Beer Dinner Beer-er-iffic!

A cold Melbourne evening and a froth-chilling wind greeted twenty brave souls who ventured into the Courthouse Restaurant last night for the year’s first Beer Dinner. Most had not been to any of our now famous events – some had not heard of anything like it – but all were willing to take the plunge.

Five beers and four food courses matched to each frothy offering awaited the diners along with a Prof. Pilsner guided tour of beer history. The theme of this dinner was (loosely) Autumn/Winter type beers and, as all the guests were in the ‘know a little but not a lot about beer’ category, we began with some milder, less confronting beers and moved through to some warmer, rounder ales to finish.

A clean palate-prepping Krusovice Imperial lager began the night while we chatted about beer in general, gauging the level of beer-experience of the group, before challenging their palates with a Matilda Bay Fat Yak. This was matched with a spicy chicken entree with a creamy mayo sauce which highlighted nicely the cleansing nature of the Yak as well as the ability of its floral, passionfrity notes to complement the spiciness.

Having managed to NOT scare any of them off up to this point, we moved onto a crisp and rich pork belly course with Asian sauce with partnered surprisingly well with a Cascade First Harvest Ale. The relative merits of the different hops creating the bitterness, flavour and aroma were discussed in a very informal and entertaining way – their words, not mine! – and the full-ish body of Cascade’s eighth limited release was well received.

A warming, home-style lamb shank main course was married with Barons ESB and my initial fears that these might ‘clash’ were proven to be unfounded as the toasty caramel notes of the ale blended beautifully with the depth of flavour in the lamb while the overall mellowness of the beer was not overpowering for the absence of high-end flavours in the dish. Sometimes beer just surprises me.

When Timo and I first planned the menu, we decided to lean away from trying to pair a beer with a dessert, especially as we were unable to beg, borrow or steal enough stock of Samuel Smith’s Taddy Porter to go with what we had in mind. But after Paul and Adam out at Purvis Cellars scrounged up the last of their stock of Young’s Christmas Pudding Ales we changed tack and scrounged up a collection of Christmas puds to go with it. The dried fruit and chocolate-y undertones in the ale were a fine counterpoint to the ‘Grandma-ness’of the desserts.

It’s fair to say that the guests all enjoyed their first Courthouse Beer Dinner ex-beer-ience with several suggesting that a monthly dinner might be more fitting than a seasonal thing. Don’t know if I can do this every month – watching while other people enjoy a selection of beers and matched food courses and not drinking and eating the same is harder than it looks – but maybe we can twist Timo’s arm and make them a little more frequent at least!

Looking forward to shopping (and taste-testing) for the next instalment already!

Cheers
Prof. Pilsner

P.S. As I wrote this a little tired I would like to apologise for the use of the following terms in a beer related post; passionfruity, chocolate-ty undertones, notes and Grandma-ness.

Masterchef Australia? I’ll drink to that!

"Don't look, but is Matt Preston still wearing that f%$#@n cravat?"


As a restaurant manager who began his hospitality career back of house, I have watched the rise of TV cooking shows with interest. When I heard Australia was to do a home grown version of the long running BBC cooking competition*, Masterchef, I eagerly awaited the launch.

To say I was disappointed would be like saying that reality TV is about as real as Jordan’s ‘assets’. Or Peter Andre’s talent. I was very disappointed. We are about half way through the series now and I still haven’t been able to work out how they have been able to use the name Masterchef. For those not familiar with the actual Masterchef concept – here it is;

Amateur cooks compete against one another to impress the judges with a 2 or 3 course meal made from given or chosen ingredients within a set budget and time limit. It’s all about cooking. Best meal wins and goes to the next stage.

Without going the stick on Masterchef Australia, I will just say this. More cooking - less Big Brother. Or don’t call it “Masterchef”. Because that’s a different show altogether. But there is an upside. And it involves beer. Surprise!!!

Masterchef – the Drinking Game is so easy to play, you’ll wonder why you didn’t think of it. I’m wondering right now because, based on the general quality of Australian Television at the moment, I could have made a packet out of the concept. The rules are simple; get some beers, get some mates, get comfortable. Whenever the ‘Key Moments’ pop up, have a beer! Simple.

The Key Moments are both easily recognised and dangerously frequent. Whenever a contestant (IT Consultant, submariner, shop owner, artist ...) says “It is my DREAM to be a chef/win this competition/go through to the next round – that’s a beer. When a contestant says “I’m goin’ home tonight” – that’s a beer. When a contestant says “I’m not ready to go home tonight’ – that’s a beer. When a judge/narrator/celebrity plonker says; “He/She’s cooking for her life, here” that’s a beer.

The main danger is drinking whenever George Colombaris says “Yeah?” at the end of a question/statement/story/explanation/bollocking towards a contestant. You’ll be too pissed to play by the first ad, yeah?

The other obvious danger is that, unlike the UK version, Masterchef Australia airs six nights a week. At 7 o’clock.

Actually, it’s a cracking good show after all! If only they could incorporate some cooking into the show. Hmmmm?

Cheers
Prof. Pilsner

*For those interested, the actual ORIGINAL Masterchef concept takes the form of a kind of travelling cooking comp at fairs and shows around the country. Mrs Miggins submits her famous pies and goes up against four-time Yorkshire Regional Champion, Widow Skanky for the title of Moors Region Grand Champion. Each regional winner would then have their recipes printed together in a Masterchef Cookbook. All about the food. And the bragging rights. For the record, Mrs Miggins never accepted her defeat in the North-Western Midlands semi-final in 1923 and served twenty years hard labour over the death of Widow Skanky who ‘accidentally hit herself a hundred times across the head with a 2 gallon cast iron casserole dish then shot herself while hanging from the butcher’s shop awning’.

Some good beer blokes

Every now and then you get the opportunity to make a difference to the lives of some very needy and deserving people. And then, on other special occasions, you get to enrich the lives of those less fortunate. Then here are nights like last night where you just get to talk shit and beer with some really good blokes in a restaurant.

John, Rob and Geoff had booked a table for a ‘business meeting’ at the restaurant that I manage. See Beer Dinner post. I think they may have mentioned business a couple of times which will probably justify the expense claim to the desk-jockey over in accounts but, for all intents and purposes, they were having a very good social evening.

Rob is a Queenslander who was down from Queensland, John is a Melbournian who was born in FNQ* and Geoff is a local who is originally from New Zealand. Sounds like the start of a bar joke. And on that count, these boys would have fit right in.

From the start I knew we were in for a good night when Rob asked me to suggest a beer for him. I love this one, where some fear it. I asked him what he usually drank; “Crown Lager”, he offered. “Sorry, I meant what BEER do you normally drink”, I replied. TISH!! BOOM!! He was rapped to hear that we had around 70 beers available but also a little daunted to be jumping out of his mainstream lager comfort zone and into a veritable rainforest of choice.

Geoff was on the light beers as he was driving so the responsibility of getting his mate to drink some new and interesting beers naturally fell to him. A Grand Ridge Brewers Pilsner (a local Gippsland offering from a long standing craft beer survivor) started him on his new journey. We had our first winner.

John and Geoff were throwing suggestions at Rob and he settled on a Hoegaarden wit which I think he was surprised to enjoy as much as he did. We were two from two and Rob wasn’t slowing down. In fact he enjoyed the Hoegaarden so much he had another. Matched nicely with the entree as well. The boys then talked him into a Monteith’s Radler ad they asked me for my opinion. As you know from reading this rabble, I rarely ‘bag’ a beer (Carlton Cold and Corona don’t count – only just beers) but on this occasion I explained to the boys that I couldn’t recommend this one.

I recounted how Monteith’s parent company had recently taken expensive legal action against a small brewer for using the term ‘Radler’. Like you can claim copyright over the German word for cyclist! Bastards!! Undeterred by my moral stand and my repeated warnings of Beer Karma the boys got their beer. And you know what? Beer Karma is a bitch. Each had a sip, turned up their noses, had another sniff of the beer as if to make sure it wasn’t the beer, confirmed it WAS the beer, turned up their noses again, left the beer on the table and asked me to bring them whatever beer I WANTED TO BRING THEM from then on.

A Cascade First Harvest was chased by a Belgian Strawberry beer and three very satisfied guests were the last ones out as the night drew to a close. Some new experiences were had, some lessons learned and beer-friendships made. John made a booking for Saturday night as he left and I suspect I might be seeing more of Geoff as we discovered we share the same little corner of one of Victoria’s nicest holiday regions – holiday houses on adjoining roads, no less.

Another example of the Beer Blokes making the world a better place – one beer at a time!

Cheers
Prof. Pilsner

*FNQ is Queensland shorthand for Far North Queensland. XXXX is Queensland shorthand for beer flavoured fizzy drink.

Pink’s Drink Think

"Ha! Ha! Beer Blokes just did another "TWATTER" post!!"

Rock chick Pink is over here in Australia at the moment presenting 768 sold out concerts – or something - and is getting plenty of publicity. From turning up at hospital children’s wards and various charity events to appearances on every channel every night, the girl is working hard for her money.

One thing I didn’t know about Pink (apart from her real name, where she got her start, any of her songs ...) was that she was a beer drinker. And guess what? I have Twatter to thank for that! Indirectly, of course, I don’t do Twatter as you know. No, I found out through a little piece in the gossip-y section of the paper yesterday. Which I also don’t usually read. But the heading caught my eagle-eye; ‘TOOHEY’S “PHOOEY” – PINK’

Turns out that during her tour Pink has been “expanding her knowledge of Australian beer”. The singer tweeterered on her Twatter site that she; “had briefly ventuered away from her favourite brew, VB”

“OK so I tried the Toohey’s beer. Like VB better,” she wrote.

That’s a bit like saying that a child has ‘expanded his knowledge of advanced mathematics because he can now count to two’. But I don’t want you to get the impression that Pink is a one dimensional drinker. She has also shared her love of Australian wine;

“Now I’m getting to know a ’94 Henschke Hill of Grace. Lovely.”

Lovely? Lovely??! That stuff is a very sought after and limited edition beauty not too many rungs below a Penfold’s Grange and varies between $600 and $800 a bottle for the 94. I hope her legions of fans didn’t head straight down to the drive through bottleshop at the local pub and ask for a six-pack!

Now that would be worth a Tweet!

Cheers
Prof Pilsner

I’ve had my first one!

Yes, it’s taken over twenty years of beer drinking but I’ve finally broken my duck.* I have enjoyed the refined pleasure of a proper, cask conditioned, hand-pulled real ale. And, as with every new experience, it had it’s ups and downs.

Have you ever been to Canberra? It’s that place that you don’t drive past on your way to anywhere in Australia? The place that you don’t even fly over on your way to anywhere? It’s also our Nation’s capital. And I’m thinking that statement in a Forrest Gump voice. As in “Hallo Mummah. I’m back from visitang ou-wah Nation’s Cap-it-arl”.

The delights of Canberra – which I can only assume is an Aboriginal word meaning “lots of roundabouts and stuff-all else” – are best summed up by Bill Bryson is his travel-novel Down Under (available at all good bookshops and immigration detention centres) when he says;

“In 1996 the Prime Minister, John Howard, caused a stir after the election by declining to live in Canberra. As you can imagine, this caused an uproar among Canberra’s citizens, presumably because they hadn’t thought of it themselves.”

For those who haven’t been to Canberra it is just like a really, really, really big park with some government buildings scattered around an ornamental lake, some nice monuments/memorials/museum-y things and lots and lots of roundabouts. That’s about it.

Fortunately they also have a very nice little brewpub which opened in 1993. The Wig & Pen is a cracker, a little hidden gem in the ‘city’ which brews its own full flavoured ales, four of which are drawn through hand pumps, and other styles to boot. Brewer Richard Watkins oversees the production of plenty of award winning ales in equipment picked up in the early nineties from a Sydney micro that went tits-up. As Willie Simpson notes in The Beer Bible, having stayed open for so long is something of a rarity in craft beer circles. Having done it in Canberra is even more noteworthy, I would add.



I chose the Wig & Pen Pale Ale as my introduction to real ale and I have to say that I can kind of get a feel for what those British types get all gooey over. There is something about the drawing back of the pump handle, the hissing as the beer makes it’s way towards the font, the expectation of the first draught then the little dip in the middle – the bit where you think you’re only getting a half – then the dawning relief as the process is repeated and the glass fills. Probably all sounds like a bit of a tug to those brought up on this bar theatre but for a lager-bred, beer-in-stubbies bloke who has never had the pleasure, so to speak, this was the realisation of a longing. And, a bit like a first sexual awakening, I couldn’t help thinking how much nicer it would have been to have someone there to share it with me.

I am guessing, based only on several years of drinking British beers from bottles, that this pint was a fine example of a cask conditioned, hand-pulled real ale. If nothing else, it is a – dare I say it – a ‘tick in the box’ on the list of beer-things I must do before I die.

Cheers
Prof. Pilsner

* To 'break one's duck' is to claim a personal first. From the game of cricket in which scoring one's first run of the innings is to prevent one from scoring zero, or 'a duck' which, in turn, is from an expression relating to the fact that a zero on the score sheet looks like a duck egg.

I Don't do Twatter

Further to my recent post lamenting the dumbing down of our modern world through the very tools which should be making us smarter comes this. Those readers with a deep and personal emotional attachment to social networking sites, look away NOW.

My local paper has begun a column called Street Tweet – What’s the Twitter where you live? A quarter page of Twatter Tweets which are supposedly representative of the suburbs from which they are ‘tweeted’. Examples of suburb based Twitterings. I think. If you didn’t know anything about Twatter or Farcebook or MopeSpace you’d be forgiven for thinking that someone at the paper had just trained a monkey to vomit Alphabeti-Spaghetti onto a page and then copied it. I still haven’t been able to confirm that this is NOT what they did, in fact, do.

I will re-print (completely without express permission) some of the ‘better’ ones with a brief Beer Bloke translation, re-interpretation and deconstruction of the writer’s thoughts. And I use those last two words very loosely.

Clifton Hill “My Ma lives in Clifton Hill. Do you reckon she’d be upset if I didn’t visit ‘til this swine thing blows over?” breesharman

BEERBLOKES – No, breesharman, that won’t upset her you daft twat. And I don’t know what will upset her more, your apparent lack of basic family manners or the fact that you wasted 30 seconds of your life posting that dribble.

Altona “Saturday we go to Altona Gate and buy new trackie pants.” Tweetiebard

BEERBLOKES – I knew Twatter was a complete waste of time. It seems some are using it to present their Grade One English homework. And not well. But combining the names of a wimpy avian cartoon character and the world’s greatest playwright – that’s literary gold!!

Preston “Dreamt last night of Narnia mixed with Star Wars meets Neighbours in Preston. No more Milo before bed for me.” miffyp123

BEERBLOKES – no, instead try this; smack yourself as hard as you can, as many times as you can, upside your thick melon until reality returns you to our world, Earth. And may the force be with you as Charlene destroys the Death Star and it explodes covering you in Turkish Delight.

Mordialloc “Am traumatised by monophonic Mexican hat dance ringtone belonging to pale blue parka wearing woman who gets off at Mordialloc station.” randomcollette

BEERBLOKES – I think you might find that the feeling you get after waking to find your entire family murdered in the bed next you – ‘traumatised’. Surviving a high-speed road crash – ‘traumatised’. Discovering that all the beer in your fridge has turned into Corona – ‘traumatised’. Annoying ringtone on a train? Next time it goes off, pull a sombrero out and smile at her as you put it on.

Frankston “Nando’s is basically mundanely exotic; sort of like putting on a Brazillian mardi gras in the middle of Frankston.” crushtor

BEERBLOKES – The difference between living in Frankston and breaking your arm – you know that one day your arm will get better.

I hope they keep doing this section in the paper.

Cheers
Prof. Pilsner

Cascade First Harvest Ale

Head Brewer, Max Burslem


In another long awaited instalment of “I can’t believe it’s not a beer review” today we look at Cascade First Harvest Ale. For those like me who like a good hoppy beer, this is a much anticipated limited release beer.

Made using green (fresh and undried) hops added by hand to the kettle during the boil this beer is packed with aroma and flavour. But don’t think that you know what this one tastes like because the beauty of the First Harvest lies as much in the fact that new hop varieties are employed each year as it does in it’s brewing pedigree.

This year three experimental varieties have been used and don’t let this put you off either. The First Harvest Ale was the beer that introduced the previously unknown Galaxy hop to the Australian drinker – and that hop has certainly found its way into more than a few beers since then. The Bushy Park hop farm again provided the goods for this, the eighth release of the First Harvest.

Named after prominent historical figures (well, prominent if you’re special category is Prominent historical figures involved in hop growing in Tasmania’s early settlement) Clarke, Shoobridge and Francomb. For those playing at home, the correct answers are; Richard Clarke who grew the first hops in Tasmania and was the state’s first brewer, Ebenezer Shoobridge (no, I’m not making this up) Derwent Valley hop grower and the Huon Valley’s hop growing Francomb family.

These hops are added within hours of being picked and are added in stages to the kettle to ensure the bitterness, aroma and flavour characteristics are best showcased. The result is a big, bold hop-packed but malt balanced beer with a freshness of hop flavour that comes across as slightly tart but keeps itself in check through to the last sip. And this really is one for sipping!

Definitely one for the hop heads!

Cheers
Prof. Pilsner