The Brewgies

Now that the Hoo-Hah has subsided over the Numpty Family Nuptials it’s time to turn our attention homewards. Tonight sees Australia’s premier event on the social calendar, The Logies, enter its 53^rd year.

Every year we see the same old stuff. The ‘Ruby Carpet’ could just as easily be re-named “Tits Out For The Boys Parade” and the ‘celebrities’ are ‘famous for being well known’ rather than for any perceivable talent they may possess. But, like any decent car crash, you can’t help but stop to stare.

The controversy is the same every year as well. And not the ‘who’s up who’ dissection of every soap opera cast or the ‘how many warm Crownies til someone does something news-worthy’ kind of debate - but the nominations that cause the most froth and bubble. Each year the Greatest Side Show on Earth revolves around who got the nods and who should’ve been shot.

Personally I have tried to care less about The Logies but I just can’t. With three girls in the house I only get to watch a lot of Sponge Bob Square Pants and ABC3 so I’m probably a bit out of step with current televisual trends and couldn’t pick most celebs out of a Police line up stacked with Oompah-Loompahs. But I do know beer.

So here’s the thing. What if celebs were beers – who would be who? If there were Logies style awards for beer, who would take the top gongs. “Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Beer Worlds night of nights – The Brewgies!”

Most Outstanding New Talent – Bridge Road Brewers B2 Bomber

Most Outstanding Drama – 2010 Crown Ambassador Reserve

Most Popular – Stone & Wood Pacific Ale

Most Popular Light Entertainment – Murray’s Punch & Judy Ale

Special Hall of Fame Award for services to the Industry – Brad Rogers

And to the prestigious Gold Brewgie Nominations;

Rebecca Gibney –Consistently solid performer without ever reaching any dizzying heights. Always on screen and thereabouts but you’re likely to reach for something more ... ‘now’. Cooper’s Sparkling Ale.

Jessica Marais – Came onto the scene with a glamorous burst of publicity and soon captured a huge following before disappearing without a trace. VB Raw. (Except for that bit about the ‘huge following’.)

Karl Stefanovic – Like salt and pepper he seems to be in everything from morning and weekend telly to covering major events and disasters. He may be innocuous enough to be inoffensive but that doesn’t make him worth seeking out. Thin and flavourless while making people think he has journalistic integrity. Proving that quantity and availability don’t necessarily mean quality. Pure Blonde.

Asher Keddie – Quality actor with skill and poise but never really achieving the widespread acclaim her talents probably deserve. Warmly accepted by her fans, though. James Squire Porter.

Adam Hills – Top bloke, family friendly, take-him-anywhere, show him off in front of the kids or Grandma. Always around without wearing out his welcome and always delivers what he promises. Also able to provide those little quality highlights that make him a ‘must-watch’. Little Creatures Pale Ale.

Chrissie Swan – Has a very small band of loyal followers who managed somehow to engineer a nomination. Everyone else is still nudging the bloke next to him and asking; “Never heard of her? What does she do?” Vale Ale.

Enjoy the awards if that’s what you’re into. I’ll be there, waiting for the car crash and drinking a nice award winning beer. Or two.

Cheers

Prof Pilsner

Local Taphouse fills with Little Creatures

He’s a Chilean-born American from Brisbane, Tasmania, Fremantle and back to Fremantle via Belgium who now lives in Melbourne. And he knows just a little about beer. He’s Alex Troncoso and he has something to do with a little brewing concern called Little Creatures.

By his own admission he has held more jobs within this iconic Australia brewing company than he can fit on a wallet full of business cards including various brewing appointments and product development roles which has led him to his current desk in charge of ... new projects? Property management? Chief overseer of pretty much anything to with the smooth running of the place?

Something like that. He’s so busy I’m not convinced he knows what his job title is.

Thankfully he was not so busy that he couldn’t make a special appearance at Ale Stars at The Local Taphouse in St Kilda last night to talk and walk 68 interested beer people through five of Little Creatures and White Rabbits current offerings. By his own admission he was unsure of what to say and how it would be received but it didn’t take long for him to warm up and realise that this crowd is pretty easy to please. Just talk about what you do and keep the beers coming.

Five beers rather than the usual four (and full glass servings as well) meant that all were soon well refreshed and listening intently. That so many present were still recovering from Saturdays GABS SpecTAPular may have had something to do with the subdued nature of the mob. It’s not often you get people nodding off during Ale Stars and I will keep my promise to Tony and not mention anyone by name. There you go, Tony.

Most readers will be familiar with the beers we sampled with Little Creatures Pale Ale and Rogers Beer and White Rabbit’s Dark and White Ales having prominent space in many bottle shops around the country so we won’t be posting detailed tasting notes here – get out and grab some for yourselves and try them. What will be shared are some details about Little Creatures that maybe unknown.

Alex took great pains to dispel several ‘industry myths’ that circulate from time to time that paint Little Creatures as having moved away from all that made it many people’s favourite brewer. Over the past few years there have certainly been plenty of punters through the restaurant who have been convinced that ‘things have changed’ since ‘they became a mega-brewery’ and ‘stopped using real hops’...

Alex will often answer the last criticism while standing in a room stuffed to overflowing with bale upon bale of hop flowers, stacked against pallets of hop pellets and explaining that Little Creatures uses more hops now than they did when brewing began back in early 2000. He is also amused by those who decry the brewery as ‘mega’ pointing out that they are a mere 10% the size of Cooper’s.

Another myth revolves around ‘dumbing down’ the recipe to ‘cheat the drinker’ which pops up regularly. Many Ale Stars were, I’m sure, pleased to hear that LC are happy to switch hop varieties, alter mash temperatures and tweak other nerdy brewing procedures to keep their flagship Pale Ale up to scratch. Seasonal variations in raw materials and a constant desire to keep searching for beer perfection means that batch-to-batch variations are not just planned for but embraced.

The ever-present spectre of ‘evil big business ownership’ was addressed well when Alex explained that, not only has Lion Nathan always had a 37% share of Little Creatures parent company, but they have never exerted an influence when it comes to the integrity of the finished product. This was most notable in the fact that corporate discounts on raw materials have been rejected in favour of staying with smaller, loyal suppliers which served to maintain the essence of the taste profile of the beer.

As is often the Ale Stars way, our guest was happy to stay back afterwards and chat to the stayers (whose numbers were thin – GABS?) until the bar emptied. It seems to be a pre-requisite that good beer brewers must be generous with their time and affable and charming all the time. Maybe there’s something in the beer ...?

And one last (and very refreshing) point to finish on. As Alex told us; “We have equipment that can measure alcohol by volume and we can test for colour and carbonation, but we can’t test for flavour. Sometimes you just have to stop and taste the beer.”

Hear, hear!

Cheers

Prof Pilsner

P.S. A quick shout-out to Bec who is leaving the Taphouse after being a welcome fixture since not long after the place opened. This Ale Stars was her last and, on behalf of all the members and casuals, I wish her all the best for the future. We will all miss her smile and her ability to seemingly pour three beers at once while ringing up the till, wiping down a bench and clearing trays of glasses all at the same time. Good Luck, Bec.


P.S.S. It is categorically untrue that a certain Trivia Team who has been handicapped-out of winning the last five or six quizzes won last night’s only because Justin wasn’t there and Guy didn’t recognise our handwriting. I mean, their handwriting. Suffice to say victory tastes sweet. But not nearly as sweet as that bottle of Sierra Nevada Hoptimum whole hop cone special that was part of the winners’ spoils.