Father’s Day beer

Being something of a beer-enjoyer (you may have picked up the subtle hints reading this rubbish) I relish hearing the question; “What can I get for you?” It’s nice to hear it come from a bartender and even nicer to hear it from a mate who is about to speak to a bartender. It is especially nice to hear it around Christmas and birthday time when I can shrug my shoulders matter of factly and say; “Oh, your love and respect is more than enough but, since you’re asking, a gift pack of Belgian ales, a six-pack of local crafties or a mini keg of Bavarian lager would be lovely.”

Now, when it comes to friends or family, mates or missus, this is easily done. When the first Sunday in September is rolling nigh and it is a two year old and a four year old asking the question, it makes for a different strategy. Can’t really ask them to hop on the push-along and fill up the flowery basket with bottles, can I. Can I? No, no I can’t. Apparently. Nice try though.

So for Father’s Day I must do my fatherly duty and provide for them. For me. I provide on their behalf - can’t be fairer than that!

So what does a dad drink when it comes to Father’s Day beer? Well, when he’s buying for himself and he has a good excuse, and he wants to match the beers with a good reason it goes something like this...

St. Arnou Premium Blonde I chose because Mrs Pilsner is blond and, well, without her I wouldn’t be having a Father’s Day. Samuel Smith’s Old Brewery Pale Ale because during the ‘Cut & Shut’ delivery of our first born, Mrs Pilsner went a lovely shade of pale during the epidural. A Fuller’s Extra Special Bitter because, well without being too much of a suck, being a Dad is pretty extra special. Holgate brewhouse in Woodend have a lovely Abbey beer called ‘Double Trouble’ (it’s Belgian Dubbell Ale) because before I had three kids I had two. Red Hill Temptation, a magnificent golden Belgian Ale chosen because that’s how I ended up with the third kid. And, finally, Weihenstephaner Hefeweissbier Dunkel because if you’ve had a few drinks before this one and you can still pronounce it without tripping over your tongue then you are very possibly capable of producing the kind of performance necessary to produce an offspring.

So when the first Sunday in September rolls around next year, get on your bike and grab six bottles of something you might not have thought about trying before. And if you don’t have any kids, get on your bike and grab six bottles of something you might not have thought about trying before. And if you feel bad that you are cheating the whole Father’s Day concept then get on your bike and grab six bottles of something you might not have thought about trying before and find someone you love and see if you can sort out what you need to do to be a father by this time next year. Go on, it’s fun!

Cheers,
Prof. Pilsner

APA Invasion

A recent trend in craft beer lately seems to be the American Pale Ale. This style just seems to have popped right out of the woodwork and has gone from the odd one in a brewers’ line up to the ‘must have’ in nearly every range.

And this is NOT a bad thing.

Apart from the fact that the citrusy hop character and floral aroma suits the weather here (is there a beer that doesn’t suit the weather if you really want it to?) the extra personality of a good APA means that these beers are a good style to food match with.

While the Prohibition era virtually saw off the ale as a style in the US, the American Ale, and the APA in particular, were given a new life with the emergence in the 1980s of microbreweries and the craft brewing explosion. The Pale Ales, based on the English Pale Ales are, as you might expect, lighter in colour and lean towards a greater use of aroma and flavour hops than their British forefathers and often achieve their distinctive hoppiness from dry hopping as well as from the ballsy and bitter US hop varieties, in particular the Cascade and Centennial. They can also tend to lean towards the amber end of pale.

Australian craft brewers have jumped on board in a big way over the last few years and where it used to be the sole domain of Little Creatures Pale Ale and one or two token gestures to the brand, we now have an almost unlimited choice when it comes to this type of ale. Many craft brewers have also tipped their hats towards the American Ales and to Sierra Nevada especially as the inspiration for the realisation of their own craft brew dreams. Readers of this blog will be aware that my current beer quest is to get me some SN Pale Ale and quick smart! No joy as yet but my two year quest may soon be at an end as Chris from Cloudwine Cellars has told me has some on order.

Another favourite craft brewer of the Beer Blokes is 3 Ravens who stick doggedly to producing a range of hand made real beers – or ‘live’ beers as they call them. Best drunk fresh and even better from the keg, these guy, led by Marcus Cox have just added a ‘55’ APA to their stable of great ales. Celebrating the brewery’s fifth birthday and packed with 5 hop varieties, this ale is a joy. Think I’ll have another. Back soon.

Murray’s Nirvana Pale Ale is another which has something of permanent residence status in the Prof’s fridge and is (from what I’m told) a great tribute to the Sierra Nevada. Matilda Bay Alpha Pale Ale is one which sings at the top of its lungs with hop gusto, Bright Blowhard is very serviceable, Moo Brew Pale is growing on me and Sweetwater is a newcomer to the scene and presents admirably.

It’s nice to be spoilt for choice! Support the Coalition of the Willing (Beer Drinkers Division) and grab an American Pale Ale today. If only Osama drank beer.

Cheers,
Prof. Pilsner

Beer Karma strikes again!

Watching my beloved Hawthorn taking on Carlton in the last of the regular season games on Saturday night and all the attention and interest in the game centred on the Hawks’
magnificent young superstar Lance ‘Buddy’ Franklin and his quest to kick the two goals needed for his hundred for the season.

The Hawks were already assured of second spot on the ladder leading into the finals series so the media focus was all about Buddy and his ton. The sub plot to this sporting drama was the fact that, at the opposite end of the ground, Carlton’s enigmatic spearhead, Brendan Fevola was aiming to kick a hefty 8 goals to get his century. I say enigmatic because ‘The Fev’ has seen more than his share of trouble over the last few years.

Seemingly hard wired towards dickheadedness, Fevola has managed to upset fans of the game and fans of normal social behaviour by getting on the drink and then choosing one or more from the following list of ‘Dickhead Things To Do When You Are Pissed’; weeing in public, headlocking barmen in Ireland, conducting an SMS affair with a vacuous model famous for being well known, speeding twenty kilometres an hour over the limit in a school zone, being a pissed idiot – you get the picture?

Anyway, Buddy dobbed the two six pointers that he needed for the ton in the first ten minutes of the game. Mrs Pilsner was commenting on the AFL tradition of fans running on to the ground as the hundredth goal went through the sticks and mobbing their hero when she mused at the prospect of Fevola kicking the eight he needed for his milestone. The commentators had made mention of the fact that, while the ton had been reached by players in the same season and even in the same round before, it had never been achieved in the same game. Could it happen tonight? How would security cope with TWO ground rushes? Would it take some of the gloss off Buddy’s feat if Fev got his as well?

“Won’t happen” I said matter of factly to Mrs Pilsner’s enquiries. “Why not”, she pondered. “Beer Karma”, I replied. “He has a poor track record when it comes to disrespecting the beer and Beer Karma will say to him – shit bloke, no ton.”

She laughed and we watched as Fevola’s Blues were pumped to the tune of 78 points and despite a goalless first half, Fevola (ably assisted by every one of his generous team mates) kicked four third quarter goals and then three in the last to finish the game stranded on 99 goals for the year. You are Beer Karma’s bitch, Brendan.

And, as if to underline the point, this morning’s paper runs the story of an AFL footballer who has again run foul of decency and standards by participating in his team’s end of season celebrations on ‘Mad Monday’ by dressing in a pink nightie, matching hat and accessorised with a sex toy to the bemusement and disgust of several city bar patrons (pun unintended). Wonder what Beer Karma has in mind for her bitch next season?

Warning; if large pink rubber dongers offend, don’t look at the front of Brendan’s pants in the picture below.

Cheers and Thanks, Beer Karma,
Prof. Pilsner