What’s better than Movember?

As you well know, The Beer Blokes are well and truly at the forefront when it comes to raising awareness of health issues on behalf of other blokes through such beery initiatives as Mo-vembeer and the time has come to balance the ledger. We don’t wish to be seen as ignoring the many health issues facing our gentle fellow Blokettes and we want to help to promote the various fundraising initiatives that support them.

You are all by now aware of the Movember initiative where Blokes can grow a ‘mo for the month of November to raise money for and awareness of prostate cancer and men’s mental health issues. Many of our loyal Blokes have participated before. And you must be aware by now of the Mo-vembeer initiative begun this year in these very pages and which has been well received and hugely popular judging by the quantity of ‘MO’ beer that I got through. This threatens to grow even larger next year, so get on board, OK?

So what’s next? What’s better than Movember? Or Mo-vembeer? How can the Blokettes among us contribute within this framework of charity months? Why, by participating in Fanuary, of course!

‘Fanuary’ is the brainchild of our Kiwi cousins on the MyJobSpace website – although it was pulled before it began due to the threat of legal action from the charity slated to receive the funds raised – and was to be supported by, among others, the surfing fraternity. It seems the hole thing, sorry, WHOLE thing was too risqué. We don’t give a muff, sorry, stuff, we are all over this thing! Too late to celebrate Muffember, so we’ll stick with Fanuary.

And like Movember, it’s as simple as doing nothing! Just let the turf grow in the lower paddock! And the money you would normally put aside for January waxing you can donate to a medical research charity of your choice. Now, you will not be alone in this, Ladettes, The Beer Blokes will be right there supporting you.

First, because Fanuary falls right in the guts of the summer beach season, December will need to be a big month for waxing salons. I mean, let’s face it, none of us wants our pristine shoreline to resemble a carpet sampler’s convention, do we? And we can’t have kids being confused and asking if, when the Wiggles sing; “Here comes a bear, A hairy scary Bear” they mean the front bottom of that lady over there, can we? Must maintain a bit of decorum. But fear not, The Blokes will be there, offering assistance when you can’t get an appointment at ‘Brazillians ‘R’ Us’ or ‘Trim Ur Trim’ or wherever you usually go.

Let us rally then, Blokes, and clear a space in the shed or the den or the lounge room for a trestle table and put on some nice ‘waxing’ music before you stick a sign out the front saying; ‘I support Women’s Health! Ask Me How!’ then stand back and prepare for the busiest month of your lives as we welcome the inaugural Fanuary celebration.

It’s our duty as Blokes.

*note to Blokes, get down to Bunnings this week and stock up on gaffer tape, fly paper and that gooey stuff that cleans chewing gum off fabrics.

P.S. The original plan was for TOTAL waxing to start Fanuary and then the idea is to grow, shape and ‘coiff’ the region in discussion. The Blokes out there might like to come up with ‘beer’ variations on the theme. For example The Landing Strip, The Burmuda Triangle etc were suggested. I’m sure we could come up with better – The Pint Glass, The Long Neck ... whatever!

P.P.S. No suitable illustration available for this post.